In a relationship, if someone thinks they can change another person, they are delusional. A person can change oneself, and only oneself. Not another person. It isn't a relationship if you think you can change the person you love. It isn't really love if you want to change them. It is love if you love the person for exactly who they are. A Predator that has continually committed fraud for years and years can not change because of a love for a certain woman. It is one of their oldest lines. Yep, I admit it, I fell for that line myself. I was conned and hoodwinked royally. I survived.  I have integrity, learned a hard life lesson, and started this blog to help victims. Yes, victims. Not just victims of con men like my ex, but victims of other conmen and women. Yes, women are con artists too. Heard about a few, and then some. However, it is the men who have the upper hand. They have conning down to a fine art. These predators prey on women or men who are looking for the perfect love. They present a facade to this person, that they have been so hurt so badly, that they cannot trust anyone. Come on....if they were truly hurt that badly what are they doing looking for love. Is that what they are really wanting?  I got conned because I fell for his lies, his facade of who he pretended to be. Now I am not bitter, seems like everyone wants to call me a bitter person. Truly, I am blessed because my life has been better than it ever was when he was in it, or even prior to when he was in it. Why? I learned a hard life lesson.   I learned that until I could love myself, I would be taken advantage of. I had no inkling of what real love was all about.  Because I had no inkling of what real love was all about, I was conned.  Any person who believes that they can change another  person is wrong. Only the person themselves can change themselves. The key here is that THEY MUST ADMIT THEY ARE WRONG. These con artists are good at assigning blame to everyone else around them, they cannot face the music of the truth about themselves.  I know now that I am a little wiser for the expectations of love as I thought love was. I do know that I am funny, intelligent, loyal, affectionate, a source of strength to my family and friends, selfless, supportive, and committed to what I believe is right. I am not perfect, but I love me just the way I am. I also know that I deserve love that is the right kind of love.  Self matters.   You do not change another person to suit your heart. You accept that person just the way they are.

However, know the difference, and love yourself first, so that you will not get conned. If he sounds too good to be perfect, then he is.  LIfe is a struggle, and you do not need to add love that isn't really love as a complication. Be wise, be smart and love thy self.  As the saying goes, "To thine own self be true."