It has been a long road to where I am now.  I had been traumatized, and homeless.   I was devastated by the presence of one man who came and went into my life. He left me me penniless, homeless and emotionless.  I say emotionless, because he shattered the fantasy of our lives into shards.  I was gullible, yet, I believed in the goodness of people.  He left me in 2000.  He left to create another life, because all around him the life he created with me was crashing. People were catching on to his lies.  I was not quite there.   Some good has come out of the devastation that he left me in:  I learned I was a GOOD person, strong, and a survivor.  I made some new friends. 

 

I hope along this long road, I have been able to help someone else heal from the pain that was caused to them from a predator.  If I have helped  you heal then what happened to me was not meaningless at all.  I have started the petition for a National Database of Marriages and Divorces, because our nation needs this.  We are in an economic crisis, and having these predators push the government further into debt isn't helping. We need some kind of database that will stop these con men and con women taking people's money at the cost of the taxpayers.  The banks try to recover what they lost, and yet the victims never can.

 

Our sense of security has been shattered in more ways than one. However, we can build our life back up slowly and steadily. It doesn't happen overnight. It takes patience; seeing counselors, paying lawyers, and pleading with the justice system to hear our voice.

 

Sometimes it seems futile to continue on, but know this, surviving a bad choice is just that. Surviving.  The predator cannot take away the essence of the person you are.

 

The predator cannot take away your skills that you have learned. The predator cannot take away your career. They may try, but they can't really take that away from

 

you.   It has been 9 long years for me, but I have my life, my children, my grandchildren, my family. They are real.  Realize that a predator builds their lives on lies

 

and their reality. In the long run, they will not have LOVE.  They will have emptiness.   I have my career.  A  predator must always move around, never to settle in one

 

place for very long.  He or She has to be a rolling stone.   They do not have shelter from the storms of life.   I have shelter.  I have happiness.  I have true happiness.

 

Not from making someone my whole world his way, but from making my own life day by day. I fill it with triumphs, and joys and tears and laughter, that are real.

 

I don't live in a fantasy world that makes me a demigod.   I am woman....hear me roar:)   I am human, I laugh, I cry, I pray, I sing.  I am real.  I am what I am.

 

I am no one glamorous, nor am I invisible.  I am a survivor, and I will continue to strive.  I know that in my old age, I will be surrounded by family and those that love

 

me. Truly love me, I will not be alone.   The predator....ah, I will not pity him for he is truly alone.  That is his problem and that is how he chose to live his life. Bad

 

choices? Yes, I believe I made bad choices, but making a choice to love someone is never bad, making a choice to prey on someone's emotion is the predator's

 

bad choice.   Keep the faith, you will grow stronger, seek the light and you will put your bad choice behind you.  Life is to be lived, love as if you never have loved

before, laugh as if you have never laughed so long and hard, cry a river, pick yourself up, straighten your shoulders, and surround yourself with people that matter.

 

What goes around comes around, they will get their just desserts.   We the victims.....made ourselves stronger so  we are not the victims anymore. 

 

 

Mary and Chuck are honorable people who have helped exposed many phonies.  These phonies take away the real honor from our honorable  soliders who actually earned their service years and medals valor. There is a new act called Stolen Valor.....anyone caught lying about earning any of these medals will be arrested and charged with a felony.  Please read this wonderful article. They helped expose my ex. He was a deserter in the army and has lied about being a POW, numerous times. They helped me seek justice... so be leery of those people who spin a good tale, sometimes those are lies.  If it sounds too good to be true, then it is probably a lie. Do not believe anyone who states they are a POW and show medals. If they can back it up with their service records then their stories are valid. Any con can go to an Army Surplus store and buy replicas of medals. I am not sure that is true now, but I know my ex bought some medals from somewhere for Rolling Thunder.  I just wish we could get my ex on the Stolen Valor Act...because then he would go back to prison where he belongs, and will protect the public from him.  (although not actually unless they take all means of communications away from him.) It is sad that we cannot take anyone's word for anything anymore. It is because there are too many victims from these con men. True it isn't against the law to lie, but it is against the law to wear medals that you did not earn in the service. Barber was a deserter, and was never a POW.  Mary and Chuck helped point out what a fraud he was.  I just wished  had known the secrets that he kept from me. It would have saved me a lot of grief, and a lot of heartache. I see this that happened to me as a way to help others not be victimized by con men and con women, if only by sharing my story. 

 

I commend Mary and Chuck for the work they do. They have helped expose so many phonies. God Bless.